Overcome Your Fears by Learning To Know Yourself - ask me anything.

KaeLene F. Scow
Jan 8, 2018

I help empower people to overcome their fears and learn self acceptance and happines within. Health is connected to all areas of your life; exercise, learning, career, romance, speed of life, cooking, community, spirituality, food, home, finances, and friendship.  By balancing all areas of your life, you will find that you are truly happy. You will also find your underlying fears that stop you from progressing to be the person you envision yourself being. 

KaeLene Scow says:

This AMA will end Dec 15, 2018 12PM EST


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Sometimes people are very good at giving advice to others but neglect advice when it comes to their lives. How does one stop doing this?
Sep 14, 1:25AM EDT0

First of all, advice doesn’t work. If someone comes to you and asks what you think, they are wanting to talk about what is bothering them. If you just give advice, they may take it but they don’t have to be accountable if it doesn’t work. That’s why it doesn’t work doing it on ourself either. 

Answers have to come within through listening. Your mind, body, and soul together have the answers already. All you have to do is be willing to listen. 

When someone asks my advice, I answer with a question, “What feels the best to you?”  They already know, they just need a support system. It’s the same with ourself. We need a support system. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 17, 9:12AM EDT0
How do you set realistic goals in all areas of your life to assist yourself in remembering that your ultimate goal is balance? How do you know if they are realistic?
Sep 14, 12:40AM EDT0

I would never set a goal in each area at the same time. Instead, look at a wheel with pie cuts for all the different areas of life. Which one feels like it needs the most work right now? Start there and set small goals in that area. After two weeks, reassess how you feel. If that area still needs the most work, if another area needs more work, set a goal in another area and continue to keep going with what you are already doing. 

What is awesome about this, is by doing one goal in one area, other areas start to line up on there own. It’s just about reassessing every two weeks on how you feel. Journal your success and be grateful for the steps you are taking. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 17, 9:07AM EDT0
How does one go about harnessing the strengths you need to overcome your obstacles?
Sep 12, 12:14PM EDT0

There are many ways to harness strength. You have to have a support system. There are always groups or people on social media who are going through the same things. You have to have someone to be accountable to. That’s why I love being a coach. That’s what I do is be that support system that holds the person accountable. 

Also, sometimes obstacles are not that big. We make them big in our mind. By taking one or two steps forward instead of loooking at the whole, we soon can loook back and see how far we have come. 

When you are working toward a goal, think of the obstacles that could come up and make back up plans so when there is an obstacle, you already have alternate plans of going through the obstacles. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 17, 9:02AM EDT0
How does one know when to give up or discontinue your efforts with a goal that doesn’t seem to become attainable? Is it okay to give up sometimes?
Sep 12, 4:08AM EDT0

I wouldn’t put it as giving up. I would say - change direction. If a goal seems unattainable, what you are saying is - maybe you don’t really want it, or maybe the whole is too much to try for. 

You have to decide if the goal is really what you want. If it is, take smaller steps toward it. If it isn’t really what you want, just change direction. By this I mean to let it sit for a bit instead of trying too hard. Sometimes when we back off, our intuition sets in. Also, the universe sets up things or people in our path to direct us toward what we really want. 

Sometimes putting out to the universe what we want and then letting the universe work for us allows us to give up some control so we can listen to intuition. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 17, 8:57AM EDT0
Would you agree or disagree that creating a life that energizes and inspires you often means reaching beyond what’s easy? How do you conquer the fear of the unknown?
Sep 11, 4:52PM EDT0

I absolutely agree that creating a life that is energizing and creative means you have to get outside your comfort zone. We can’t truly grow unless we get outside our comfort zone and take some chances. 

Many people have fear of the unknown. All you have to do is change your mindset about it. You can keep saying, but what if this or that; or you can change your mindset to looking at it as an adventure. Start saying - What if? As in - what if this is fun, or better, or part of the path to get me one more step to the place I want to be? 

When we change mindset to thinking of new things as a way to grow stronger, add confidence, and inspiration; we can learn that new things do give us creativity and it does energize us. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 17, 8:51AM EDT0
How do you stop getting into a negative mindset if you are feeling depressed?
Sep 10, 7:41AM EDT0

It’s ok to feel depressed at times. The important part is to allow yourself to feel it, sit in it, and then move on. Have a plan beforehand of things you can do    to change your mindset after allowing yourself to feel. By allowing yourself to sit in it, you are also allowing yourself to sit in happiness. 

Journal how you feel and then start listing things you are grateful for, get out in nature, go shopping and make a point of talking to one person, or have a music playlist of upbeat songs  Make a list of things you love to do and do something on the list, even if you don’t feel like it. 

The tip here is to change your atmosphere. Your mindset will change when you make a point to change the environment you are in. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 17, 8:44AM EDT0
Overcoming one's fears is important, but is there anything like a healthy dose of fear?
Sep 9, 2:39AM EDT0

Yes absolutely. We come programmed with fight or flight response for a reason. We need fear in some situations to keep us safe. 

The fears I address are the ones that are deep rooted, causes from some traumatic event early on. Even things in adulthood like a car crash. My husband is a police officer and many police officers have PTSD from the job related events. These types of fears can be addressed and helped. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 12, 1:22PM EDT0
Are you more solution-focused or process-oriented?
Sep 5, 1:13PM EDT0

I would have to say both. The point of coaching is to help the person reach solutions. However, in order to get there and truly have solutions stick, that person has to address the layers of how to reach the original wound in order to move forward instead of falling back. 

Most people think they want to lose weight, for instance, which is easy to help with. The problem, however, isn’t the weight, it’s what the underlying cause is. That is the important part is finding that. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 12, 1:18PM EDT0
How do you make sure to match the pace of the session to the client’s needs especially if they are unable to express well?
Sep 5, 5:23AM EDT0

That’s a good question. I have been reading people most of my life and talking one on one to all ages. For me at this point it is easy to know the right question and feel the pace. There are ways of helping people open up. I have found that once trust is in place, most people are more comfortable. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 12, 12:39PM EDT0
What steps can be taken in forgiveness to help with balance?
Sep 4, 12:08AM EDT0

We can not really achieve balance without forgiveness. Forgiveness blocks us from freeing our mind, body, and spirit. 

The hardest and most important step is to forgive yourself. When we can reach in depth with ourself and see why we are lacking forgiveness, we find what we need to ‘fix’ to let go. 

As we find in ourself what’s holding us back, we can address it and allow ourself to move forward. It frees us from feeling stuck. Most importantly, it allows us to feel peace. We can’t feel peace without letting go. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 12, 12:28PM EDT0
Do you seek systematic feedback from your clients about outcomes?
Sep 3, 10:25PM EDT0

Yes. We set two week appointments where we review what has gone well or not well over the last two weeks. We also have goal sheets for the two weeks and longer term goals. Six to nine sessions work well. After that I do follow ups also. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 11, 9:58AM EDT0
What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of the clients?
Sep 3, 8:57PM EDT0

I have a masters in psychology so I have counseled for years and dealt with many different personality types. I don’t have a problem with any type of personality. I actually like working with different personalities. 

My expectations for clients is that they keep committed to the program they set and that they keep their times with me. I allow a 24 hr window if they need to change times, but they have to be willing to put in the same effort that I do. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 11, 9:56AM EDT0
What tips do you have on how to detox the body of sugars, caffeine, and other substances that are bad for the body?
Sep 3, 2:39AM EDT0

The number one tip I would give is to stop taking in bad substances. You can detox, but unless you stop- you will keep having the same problems. 

One thing you can do is make honey infused water to drink during the day. Mix honey with water and add lemon, oranges - any mixture of fruits or vegetables.  Lemons are a great detoxifier as well as pineapple. Cucumber lime water is also good. If you are brave, add a pinch of cayanne. Cayanne helps circulate the blood. Sip of these during the day. It’s refreshing and heals the body!

Thank you for asking!

Sep 11, 9:53AM EDT0
What advice do you have for new mothers whose world is now around their new baby? How can they achieve their balance and not get too stressed with motherhood?
Sep 1, 1:38AM EDT0

Being a new mom can be stressful because you have to change your schedule and thinking to what the baby needs. This doesn’t need to change balance, just changing around your schedule. 

The best thing you can do is to have some support to give you breaks. If you can take a half hour bath, or walk by yourself- do it! Make some time for yourself each day. Babies require much of your energy so this is very important. Also, remember that life will go fast and your schedule will keep changing. 

Become ok with switching things around when you need to and if something doesn’t get done in the day - it will be there tomorrow. You will be a better mother by not getting overwhelmed with everything else. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 11, 9:48AM EDT0
What inspirational books do you recommend that can help the process of becoming balanced?
Sep 1, 1:03AM EDT0

Any book on conscious living. Learning to live in the present moment is when we are really taught what we need to know. Read the reviews and try one! 

I have two I love: The Shift by Dr Wayne Dyer, and Thw Power of Consciousness Living by Sandra Kendrew. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 11, 9:43AM EDT0

What are the other advices you have for those having a difficulty doing the other things on the list?

Aug 31, 2:56AM EDT0

I’m assuming you are talking about lists to get done during the day. I’m not sure if you mean mentally or just having time getting them done. 

For either, I would suggest thinking about mindset. Where is your mindset? Looking at lists can feel overwhelming. Sometimes it’s better to not think about it too much. Take the top priority and work on that. Take one at a time and allow yourself to take breaks. Having some odd time in between to rest or get a snack is very beneficial. 

If we are constantly going, we feel burned out and then everything else feels overwhelming. 

Changing mindset is a great way to keep moving forward!

Thank you for asking!

Sep 7, 11:16AM EDT0
What is it about classical music that brings calmness to the senses?
Aug 31, 12:30AM EDT0

We know that classical music stimulates more parts of the brain than other music. Studies have been done on rock music. Rock and rap music beats go directly contrary to the best of our heart causing anxiety and anger. 

When we listen to classical music, it goes with the best of our heart creating a peaceful environment. 

I did a study in college on parakeets. When classical music was played, the birds chirped beautifully. When rock  music was played, they didn’t sing at all. 

Classical  music stimulates many parts of the brain allowing us to be more creative and calm. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 7, 11:11AM EDT0
Why is it when people are romantically involved their balance becomes impacted?
Aug 30, 11:42PM EDT0

Emotions. Emotions are very powerful and sharing them with another person, we become vulnerable. We also share the energy of the other person. When the other person feels stress or pain, we also feel it. 

On the other hand, when the other person feels love and happiness, we do also. It’s important to have a trusting relationship with someone who is positive and willing to communicate. Communication can bridge many dips in the road!

Thank you for asking!

Sep 7, 11:07AM EDT0
Is it possible to fully achieve balance all the time? Why do you think so?
Aug 30, 6:11PM EDT0

Yes and no. It mostly has to do with mindset. Once we can get in a state of love and peace, it’s easier to stay there. 

Life will always bring surprises and obsticles. If our mindset is in peace, it is much easier to take these obstacles and go through them without stress or panic. 

So yes, we can have balance. Having said that, we need to be aware and constant in keeping in that place I’d love and peace. When we are in this place, many other things become trivial. 

Thank you for asking!

Sep 7, 11:03AM EDT0
How does lighting candles and having quiet time contribure to mental health? What can be doing during this quiet time?
Aug 29, 8:34PM EDT0

Both contribute to mental wellness. They both help calm the mind so one can listen to intuition and the spiritual self. We need to allow our minds to have quiet time each day. 

Taking a hot bubble bath, or meditating can be great in these environments. The point is to not think about what needs to be done, or stressors during the day. Quieting the mind means just that. We need to allow our minds to relax. One can also allow the mind to think of positive self talk, or things we are grateful for. It’s a great time to allow ourselves to feel peace. 

Thank you for asking. 

Sep 7, 10:59AM EDT0
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