Overcome Your Fears by Learning To Know Yourself - ask me anything.

KaeLene Scow
Jan 8, 2018

I help empower people to overcome their fears and learn self acceptance and happines within. Health is connected to all areas of your life; exercise, learning, career, romance, speed of life, cooking, community, spirituality, food, home, finances, and friendship.  By balancing all areas of your life, you will find that you are truly happy. You will also find your underlying fears that stop you from progressing to be the person you envision yourself being. 

KaeLene Scow says:

This AMA will end Dec 15, 2018 12PM EST


Conversation (263)

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What’s the biggest gift self-love has given you?
May 24, 11:26PM EDT0

Wow, I do do an essay on this. I will sum it up in one word though...PEACE.  Having peace is the best gift we can give ourself. When outside influences do not rock us - it is an amazing feeling. 

Whatever chaos is happening around me- it doesn’t affect my state of peace. That is a gift I would love everyone to be able to reach!

Thank you for asking. 

May 25, 11:40AM EDT0
What are common ways people self-sabotage their happiness and their health?
May 24, 6:17PM EDT0

I could name many ways people sabotage their health and happiness. Before saying that, I have to say a person cannot have true self acceptance and peace or they would not self sabbatage. Sabbatage comes from not feeling good enough or not feeling love in the first place. 

People self sabbatage because they are not truly happy. They search for happiness from without, not within. This creates addictions, revenge, emotional eating, wanting others to feel miserable also. 

Addictions and eating are big ones. People to to something else to feel good because they don’t, do they seek out drugs, alcohol, eating for a temporary escape. 

I will always say, when a person comes from a place of lack, they sabbatage. Most times they don’t realize that is what they are doing. 

If a person has unconditional love, that’s what they want to share and they don’t need outside stimulants to fill it in for them. 

Thanks for asking. 

May 25, 11:37AM EDT0
What are those ingrained beliefs you and others have about what self-love or self-care means?
May 24, 5:52PM EDT0

That is a very good question and you will hear different answers from everyone you ask. My belief system came because I have experienced it. I have read many books but it never resonated with me until I did go through it myself. 

Growing up I was taught that serving others was what brought happiness and self respect. It does. However, what I learned was that I never felt good enough and so I was always giving from a place of lack. Giving does make us feel good, but it is temporary unless we have the love inside us to give. Because I gave from a place of lack I never understood unconditional love. Love for me was always contingent on what I did, not who I was. 

When I finally can to a place where I truly loved myself - I knew because I felt peace inside, no matter what happened around me. Now when I give, I give love, not stuff. 

So for me it is giving of myself from a place of love, being who I am and feeling peace, and not using judgement toward myself or others. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 25, 11:31AM EDT0
What are some of your favourite tools that help with the healing, self-love process?
May 24, 5:17PM EDT0

On a daily basis I use what’s called CORE which I learned from school. When a person needs to visit a deeper place, the best thing is hypnosis or emotional release therapy. One of my favorite modalities is reiki. Reiki brings in good energy and let’s me in a person’s energy so I can feel more what they are feeling. This is a great modality for when a person doesn’t realize they are stuck somewhere. All of these are very powerful and the extra benefit is that it helps me release my stuff also. 

Thanks for asking. 

May 25, 11:19AM EDT0
As a health and wellness coach, do you ever have clients whom you think are beyond help?
May 17, 9:50AM EDT0

That’s a good question. I have to answer this in two parts. 

No I don’t think there is anyone beyond help. I have seen miracles happen in people’s lives. 

Having said that, some people who really can be helped don’t want the help bad enough to take a leap and make a change. As a coach, I can only be a support system. People have to do the steps to help themselves. Some people say they want help but are not willing. 

I have worked with some people who have had very hard lives and seen them make amazing progress. The one thing no one can do is force someone to change. 

I hope this answers your question. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 18, 10:55AM EDT0
What is a personal fear that you have conquered and how did you do it?
May 16, 11:56PM EDT0

There have been a few significant fears I have had in my life. I was sexually abused when I was very young. I had fear of abandonment my whole life. I was married to an abusive man but didn’t leave because of that fear. 

He left me - I was abandoned. I had no job, no money, and was alone. He left me to pay for the house and all the bills. It was a very difficult time. I had to pay one bill to keep another from being shut off, then call the other company to make arrangements. 

During this time I got a job as the group leader at a residential treatment center for teenage boys. I taught them about facing fears instead of running from them. 

When I would go home I took long walks to try and find myself. I knew that I had to practice what I preached so I faced them. Instead of feeling self pity, I decided I was not going to give any energy to anything negative. Instead I set my thought patterns on positive, how blessed I was, how grateful I was. I spend many hours with myself learning who I was and what I had to offer. I stopped fearing being alone and started enjoying the peace. 

I spent a year doing this and keeping positive. I no longer fear abandonment or being alone. 

I had no choice but to face the fear. By doing that, I am blessed and I don’t regret anything that has happened. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 17, 8:04AM EDT0
Do you think all people have the privilege of finding balance in their lives? How so when so many people suffer financially and emotionally and have no control over it?
May 16, 10:05PM EDT0

Yes I do believe all people have that privilege. First of all every person has control over emotional and financial health. The difference is just that - it’s a choice. Finances can be stressful, but it’s tangible and can change. Emotions can also be changed. If there is an emotional imbalance in the brain - there are resources available. 

For example, I had a cousin who had a stroke at 35. She had locked in syndrome, which means she was paralized from the nose down - but her brain was fully functioning. She had a two week old baby and two other daughters, ages three and five. 

Doctors put her in a care center and told her there was no hope. She had to communicate through blinking at the letter she wanted in the alphabet to form sentences. She told doctors she was going to walk out of the hospital. 

During this time her husband left her, took her kids and tried to get her disability money. She set her goal on walking out of the hospital. 8 months later she did! She can talk now - she is hard to understand, and she has to wear a brace on her left leg because she doesn’t have feeling, but she did it. I have never heard her not be positive or feel bad for herself. She is now married to a wonderful man and her children love her. The youngest still lives with her. 

All things are possible. Everyone has a choice in shaping their life! 

Thank you for asking. 

May 17, 7:54AM EDT0
Have you ever thought about writing a book on how to empower one's self by knowing it? If yes,Why haven't you written it yet?
May 16, 12:01PM EDT0

Thanks for asking. I have had many people ask me that question, so yes, I have started writing a book. My goal is to have it done in one year. I have actually thought about it for years but never done it. I think now is a great time to start 😉

May 17, 7:42AM EDT0
How should a person deal with a decline in their mental health because of life stressors that they can't find escape from?
May 16, 11:43AM EDT0

Life stressors will always be there. There are some things that you can’t eacape from, so you need to change how you react to those stressors. It’s just a matter of changing from reacting to not reacting. In every situation you have a choice. 

For example, I was married to an abusive man for 25 years. I developed health issues because of the stress my body was feeling. I learned that whatever was happening around me didn’t matter. I learned that I couldn’t change that, but I could change how I felt inside. I started meditating and learning how to feel happy inside no matter what else was going on. I took time to walk outside to get fresh air. I also started doing positive affirmations to build my confidence. I chose to not allow Myself to give him energy. 

Separating emotions from hard situations takes practice, but it can be done. You have total control over your choices. Also it takes time for your body to heal. It helps to eat nourishing foods and keep healthy thoughts!

Thank you for asking. 

May 17, 7:41AM EDT0
Do you believe your destiny is pre-determined or in your hands to shape however you wish?
May 14, 11:24AM EDT0

That is a complicated answer. If you are religious it will be different than if you aren’t. Personally, I believe there is a God. We are all born with talents and dispositions unique to us. I believe we are on this earth to share what we have and what we know to help others. Having said that, I believe we do shape our future by creating what we want. We choose what our life will be by setting intentions. You have heard ‘what you think about the most, you will get,’ or ‘be careful what you think about because you will get it.’  

Everything is alive and connected. We respond to everything through energy, and it responds back. 

So I guess to sum it up, we do create how our life will play out. We use our talents and minds to do this. I believe we have purposes here and nothing we do is ‘by chance.’  Everything we do - if we use our talents and gifts - are to help others. We have freedom to choose our future every day. If we listen to our instinct and set our intentions for what we want- we will get it.  

Thanks for asking. 

May 15, 9:04AM EDT0

I just read this quote after I responded to you 😊

Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics. - Albert Einstein

May 15, 9:09AM EDT0
What do you think is the biggest self-limiting belief among people?
May 14, 4:23AM EDT0

“I am not good enough.”

This comes out at the root of almost every case I take. We are born feeling good enough, but along the lines of living, we develop the belief that we are not good enough. It’s a sad deception that we believe to be true. 

I do emotional release therapy and it is almost always one of the belief systems. As we grow up, we believe it long enough that it becomes a staple to us and everything around us has to respond to that false reality. Therefore, we create a reality that centers around us not being good enough. The universe responds to the reality we create!

Rhank you for asking. 

May 14, 8:17AM EDT0
How can people be comfortable with their own mortality?
May 14, 3:55AM EDT0

Two things that are very important: self love, and stop judging or comparing. 

1. One has to learn to be ok with what talents he/she has, and how he can serve others with these talents. Service is the best way to learn self love. 

2. When we can stop judging and comparing ourselves with others, we will be happier and more productive. Comparing oneself with ‘the Jones’ is never a good idea. It puts negative thoughts in our heads - and we obviously can never be someone else. When we start looking inward and what we have to offer, we find wonderful things about ourselves and how we can contribute.  

Thanks for asking. 

May 14, 8:12AM EDT0
To your best knowledge, how can one know how do other people perceive him/her?
May 13, 10:08PM EDT0

Body language.  Body language is a huge factor in reading other people. The other one is mirroring, or reflecting back what the other person said. Being impeccable in your word will help you a great deal in perceptions with other people. I have spent most of my life reading other people and there are always tell tale signs. 

People are not as complicated as we make them out to be. We all have similar guestures and behaviors. 

Also, when we spend more time listening instead of talking, people will say what they feel. It comes out and they may not be aware of what they are saying, but we will be if we pay attention and listen. 

I hope this answers your question. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 14, 8:07AM EDT0
What role does formal education play in people's lives and what do you feel about it?
May 13, 6:37PM EDT0

I’m not sure exactly what you are asking. I am an advocate for education. Education is always a good idea. The more we learn, the more we know we don’t know anything. Being educated helps to understand both sides of an issue, it helps to be relatable with people, to be empathetic, to know how and when to be of help and allow others to help you - I could go on and on. Educated people make better decisions, are a better resource, and studies have shown that educated people are happier. 

My personal feeling comes from being raised by highly educated parents. I had proper training to then raise my children in a better environment. My children are parents now and raising their children with better values. It’s a ripple effect that will continue on. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 14, 8:02AM EDT0

If you have poor health either mental or physical you are 'sick' or unhealthy.  I agree health and happiness maybe interlinked and happiness comes from within the self.  There are many mornings when I could cheerfully stay in bed and ignore another day. However, I have a mantra written on an angel card by my bed which I use each morning. This day is a wonderful new beginning. I am happy. I am lucky. I shall enjoy it.  I'd like to hear your comments on this and is it good advice for others?

May 11, 5:26PM EDT0

Yes that is really good advice. I have affirmations for morning, evening, inspiration, etc. Waking up and reading positive thoughts definitely helps to start your day off right. Going to bed with positive does also. 

Some people post positive affirmations, or say them but they don’t work. In order for them to work, we have to believe them and visualize them as us in the present moment. These can be very powerful in changing how we feel and how our day goes. 

Great comment. Thank you!

Last edited @ May 12, 10:23AM EDT.
May 12, 10:22AM EDT1
What is it to be truly happy? How can people really feel happy without ignoring the sad truth of life?
May 9, 9:41PM EDT0

What is the sad truth about life? I don’t believe there is any sad truth. Life is the reality we make it. If we see life as challenging, hard, or sad - our reality will be just that. If we choose to see life as happy, learning, trying new things - our life will be just that. Emotions are not given to us - we create them. They become learned behaviors - and therefore can be unlearned or changed by habit. We become truly happy when we choose to be truly happy. When we can face the world with a smile and feel only love in our hearts - we are truly happy!

Thanks for asking. 

May 10, 3:47PM EDT0
How a person that is probably balanced in some areas of his/her life (romance, career, friendship) unable to find the balance in the spiritual part? Why this happens?
May 9, 1:04PM EDT0

That’s a good question. It happens because the person isn’t really balanced. We all do well in certain areas, and that can shift with different things that demand more time. To be truly balanced, we have to think of life like a wheel with spokes. If one spoke is missing, the wheel isn’t round anymore riding on it will feel very bumpy! If one spoke is missing, it makes the other spokes do more work. In essence, the other areas wear out faster. Hopefully that makes sense to you. 

The only way we can truly be balanced is to have all areas of life in balance together. This makes the journey smooth and enjoyable!

Rhank you for asking!

May 9, 9:03PM EDT0
When do you feel the most inspired, alive and the most like YOU?
May 7, 12:36AM EDT0

Thank you for asking. 

For me personally, it is being in nature, spending time alone. 

There is much to be said about spending time alone with yourself when you can just be you. Doing this and living in the present moment helps you feel grateful and loved. Nature has a high frequency energy on its own, so being in it and just listening raises our personal vibration. Being in nature brings vitality and awakening. 

May 7, 8:21AM EDT0
Is it possible to suffer from a fear of not feel loved? Even if you are surrounded by people that cares about you, why can someone feel that nobody loves them?
May 6, 11:03AM EDT0

That is a good question. Fear of not feeling loved is actually very common. It actually stems from ‘not feeling good enough.’ Everyone has people surrounding them who love them. A person will not feel that love if they don’t love themselves. This also applies to self confidence; not feeling good enough, fear of being accepted, fear of failing, and fear of being seen ( meaning, showing ones true self.). All of these fears stem from the inside - not from have many people believe in us or care about us. It is an insecurity that we need to overcome through facing fears and getting to know ourself. When we can learn to love the person we are, that fear goes away. 

Thank you for asking. 

May 7, 8:17AM EDT0
What are some of the most common underlying fears in most people's life?
May 6, 10:29AM EDT0

The most common fears are fear of death, fear of heights, fear of failure, and fear of change. These are the most common that I deal with. 

Thank you for asking!

May 7, 8:11AM EDT0
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