Stories from a blogger mom of a son with Autism. Ask me anything about my journey and I would be glad to share.

Tulika Prasad
Jan 9, 2018

I'm mom to 8 yr old Vedant. He was diagnosed with Autism when he was 3. Getting over the news of this diagnosis took some time and when it did I knew what I had to do next- start a blog. My blog www.braindroplets.com is my way of sharing our family's journey as we walk hand in hand with autism.

Get to know how I find hope in the challenges that Autism throws at us. Talk to me about how you deal with the stress in your life. Share with me your stories and know a few of mine. From meltdowns to miracles, from stressful to sensational, from exhausting to exceptional - let's talk about our lives with autism.

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What do you do to make him feel better when he becomes disappointed at himself?

Dec 27, 2:53AM EST0

As i answered in a previous question, resentment, disappointment, jealousy etc are emotions I’ve not seen him demonstrate yet. When he does I’m not sure how I’ll deal with it but I hope it will be by talking about his strengths and telling him about how people who were ridiculed early on in life went on to become some of the most iconic figures. I’ll probably teach him to believe in himself and not compare him to anyone else because he is unique and as it has been repeatedly said - he is different, not less. 

Dec 27, 9:57AM EST0

Do you get yourself involved in any program to raise autism awareness?

Dec 26, 1:08PM EST0

I stopped working because I felt I needed to spend more time with my son during his early years. He is going to turn 9 now. I feel he’ Getting a little more independent and so for the last 1-2 yrs I’ve started trying to be more useful. I am an Autism Speaks volunteer Advocacy Ambassador.I also am on the Family Advisory Council’s leadership team of our local children’s hospital’s Developmental Pediatrics division. I try to bring in a special needs perspective in my son’s school’s PTO too. I hope to do as much as my time can allow me and hope that one day the world will be more accepting of people with different abilities. 

Dec 26, 4:19PM EST0

As a blogger, how can you help in raising autism awareness?

Dec 26, 11:28AM EST0

My blog shares my journey, my experience and my stories. I shre stories about strangers’ kindness, about people’s ignorance, about what I feel as a parent and about all tgat we go through as a family. I try to write about things that are relevant and things that might help others understand the lives of families touched by autism. All I can do is hope that through my writing I might be able to change a few of us out there. 

If you visit my blog you would notice quite a few articles that talk about autism acceptance. Here is sn example www.braindroplets.com/understanding-autism-awareness-acceptance/

Dec 26, 3:56PM EST0

Do you have any idea how autism is diagnosed? Are there symptoms?

Dec 26, 8:46AM EST0

Autism is diagnosed through observation by a developmental pediatrician/SLP or other medical professionals from the developmental pediatric field. There is no blood work to diagnose Autism. The internet is abound with symptoms/red flags fir autism. AutismSpeaks website is a good place to start learning about all this. 

Dec 26, 9:39AM EST0

Do you get to receive support from your family, friends or relatives?

Dec 26, 2:02AM EST0

Yes , I have a very supportive group of people around me. The support and understanding didn’t come in a day but the more I opened up about my son and talked honestly about what he is and what his challenges are, the better people’s perspective became. I feel I have a very nice support system around me. As for my spouse...I couldn’t have asked for a better life partner than him to hold my hand on a journey as extraordinary as this one. 

Dec 26, 9:36AM EST0

Do you tell your son that he’s no different with the other kids?

Dec 26, 1:20AM EST0

I think every kid is different and unique. So is my son. We make a conscious effort to not Make him feel like he is any less. Fortunately or unfortunately he doesn’t have a sibling so on any average day he really does not have a benchmark he is measured against. He is his own benchmark. It makes us easy for us to treat him like any average kid out there without having to refer to his challenges very often. 

Dec 26, 9:32AM EST0

What do you do to help your son avoid the feeling of resentment?

Dec 25, 7:06PM EST0

My son struggles with the basic feelings of love, happiness (different from being excited out of sensory stimulation), sadness, attachment and sympathy (like when someone is crying next to him, he seems oblivious and unaffected). Resentment is a complex feeling and I'm not sure if he is still there emotionally . 

Having said that, I don't think I know enough about what goes on in his mind. All that I try to do is be there for him and not make him feel lonely or neglected. I hope ta gives him some kind of emotional support.

Dec 25, 8:28PM EST0

Are you a member of a support group of Mothers with autism kids?

Dec 25, 5:24PM EST0

I'm a member of several FB groups of parents with autistic kids.

Dec 25, 8:22PM EST0

Do you ever feel any regret or guilt being a mom of a child with autism?

Dec 24, 4:02AM EST0

There is no question of guilt. Having a child on the autism spectrum is not a crime. I'm blessed to have someone to call me mom. Never for a moment do I regret having my child. If anything, I wish his challenges were gone. If there is anything I regret, it is that I've not been able to spread enough awareness and acceptance for people with different abilities.

Dec 25, 8:22PM EST0

Did you seek any professional help for your child with autism? If so, what are they saying about him?

Dec 23, 11:25PM EST0

Yes, we have done quite a lot of therapies, experimental drugs, alternative medicines and all before we realized that we are spoiling our son's childhood by spending most of it in clinics and with what I now call quacks. I would rather let him have experience that he will remember and learn from than pop pills that claim to fix him but actually don't. Almost all the claims about curing autism are fake and they take advantage of desperate parents who want to cure their kids. Now that I know this I think I'm in a better place. I take my son to therapies and I  belive therapies will help him deal with his challenges better and also overcome some of those. They are the only established medical intervention that mainstream doctors approve of and so that is all that I do now. I focus more on giving him more opportunities to explore, experience and grow .

Dec 23, 11:55PM EST0

Was there a moment in your life when you feel like giving up?

Dec 23, 2:18PM EST0

Yes, absolutely. There have been many occasions when I felt like I will not be able to go on any more. But the very next day I'm ready for another challenge and if you ask what makes be rebound every single time, it's my son. The fact that I'm my son's advocate, his support, his friend and his warrior makes me get up and move on every time I feel like giving up. Read my story here www.braindroplets.com/im-not-supermom/

Dec 23, 11:25PM EST0

Do you consider yourself lucky because you have a very special son?

Dec 23, 10:49AM EST0

I'm glad I got the strength to stand up for my son and be there for him while he fights with his challenges everyday. I feel lucky that I got to know someone l ike my son who is so unique and special in so many ways. If I could change, I would want my son to be neurotypical- to talk, think and act like any other mainstream person out there... to be an average kid. Having said that , if he turned into a regular average kid, I would dearly miss my special, autistic son who is so different, so pure and so extraordinary. So, to answer your question, yes I feel lucky to know someone like my son, but if given a chance I would want his challenges to go away.

Visit my blog www.braindroplets.com and you would find a lot of my articles that will give you an insight of this dilemma that many a parent of autistic kids find themselves in.

Last edited @ Dec 23, 11:34PM EST.
Dec 23, 11:32PM EST0

How often do you post articles on your blog?

Dec 23, 10:11AM EST0

I don't have a set frequency. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes not so much. It all depends upon what's happening in my life. I try not to be gone for very long so on an average you will find a post a month and sometimes more. 

Dec 23, 11:36PM EST0

Have you ever thought how autism changed your view of life?

Dec 23, 7:23AM EST0

It's a wonderful question. My first post on my blog was just about this. Autism has changed me in so many ways. It has changed my perspective for the better and it has certainly made me a stronger and more sensitive person. If you want to know more please read this article www.braindroplets.com/autism-changed-me/

Dec 23, 11:38PM EST0

Have you ever wondered how your child develop autism?

Dec 23, 5:21AM EST0

For quite sometime after my son was diagnosed, I was obsessed with figuring out how my son got autism. I would run and rerun everything that happened during my pregnancy and leading upto the day of his diagnosis , trying to find a reason. I don't do that anymore. What has happened, has happened. his Autism is here to stay whether I like it or not. WHat I need to concentrate now on is how to make the best of this situation and how to make my son ready for the world. That's what I use my energy on now.

Dec 23, 11:41PM EST0

What’s the best advice you can give to parents of children with autism?

Dec 23, 1:42AM EST0

I havebeen asked this question a lot. I would say -- your child is still the same that he was before the diagnosis. Remember to enjoy him and celebrate all his big and small achievements. Don't try to "fix" him all the time, don't make him your project. Let him be what he is meant to be. Challenge him, help him grow but don't try to make him what he is not.  Please feel free to read this artricle www.braindroplets.com/mistakes-made-mom-autisic-child/ which is a good place to start for parents who recently got the diagnosis.

Dec 23, 11:46PM EST0

Do you still remember the moment when your child was diagnosed with autism? How did you feel?

Dec 22, 11:09PM EST0

I very vividly remember that moment. We went into the doctor’s office knowing what to expect because we had done a ton of research based on the red flags we noticed in our son’s development. So, the diagnosis didn’t come as a surprise. We were preparing ourselves for this news. Inspite of that I remember feeling numb. I was in denial for quite sometime. I also didn’t realize the full extent of the impact it’s going to have on our lives. At that point of time all I could feel was ,well, nothing. Followed by a mixed feeling of grief, relief ( that it finally had a name), and hope( that I can fix it). 

Last edited @ Dec 22, 11:18PM EST.
Dec 22, 11:17PM EST0

Is there anything your son would like to do but he cannot do because of autism?

Dec 22, 10:40PM EST0

My son is non-conversational. It’s very difficult to know what he desires except for his basic needs like food , water and sleep. 

However, I’ve seen him get excited when watching other kids play and I’ve also seen him try to interact with other kids on occasions but his unique way of interacting scares most kids. So the foremost thing that comes to my mind that he might desire would be something as small as having a friend to play with that he does not have right now. 

Dec 22, 11:11PM EST0
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